1017
致命的大错
"Finished8thinmyhighschoolgraduatingclassof10."
"Qualifications:Noeducationorexperience."
"Iamrelativelyintelligent,obedientandloyalasapuppy."
"Mycompensationshouldbeatleastequaltomyage."
"ReasonforLeaving:IthadtodowiththeIRS,FBIandSEC."
"FiredbecauseIfoughtforlowerpay."
"Sizeofemployer:Verytall,probablyover65".
"Pleasedisregardtheenclosedresume-itisterriblyoutofdate."
"ReasonforLeaving:Mybosssaidtheendoftheworldisnear."
"ReasonforLeaving:Theownergavenewmeaningtothewordparanoia.Iprefertoelaborateprivately."
打字错误与语法错误
"Herearemyqualificationsforyoutooverlook."
"Strengths:Abilitytomeetdeadlineswhilemaintainingcomposer."
"Iamarabidtypist."
"WorkHistory:Performedbrainwavetests,1879-1981."
"Afterreceivingadvicefromseveraldifferentangels,Ihavedecidedtopursueanewlineofwork."
"Accountingcleric."
"Asindicted,Ihaveoverfiveyearsofexperienceanalyzinginvestments."
"Suspectedtograduateearlynceanalyzinginvestments."
"Suspectedtograduateearlynextyear."
"Disposedof$2.5billioninassets."
"Provenabilitytotrackdownandcorrecterors."
"Accomplishments:Oversightofentiredepartment."
"Amaperfectionistandrarelyififeverforgetdetails."
"Accomplishments:Completed11yearsofhighschool."
不应有的幽默
"Note:Keepthisresumeontopofthestack.Useallotherstoheatyourhouse."
"Assistedindailypreparationoflargequantitiesofconsumableitemsinafast-pacedsetting."(Translation:Short-ordercook.)
"Butwait...theresmore.Yougetallthisbusinessknowledgeplusagraspofmarketingthatissecondnature."
"Ihaveanexcellenttrackrecord,althoughIamnotahorse."
"Myfortunecookiesaid,Yournextinterviewwillresultinajob-andIlikeyourcompanyinparticular."
"Title:AnotherresumefromtheProfilesinExcellenceseries."
"AlsoKnownAs:Mr.Productivity,Mr.Clever,Mr.Fix-it."
"Trustworthyreferencesavailableuponrequest-ifIgivethemafewbucks."
"Letsmeetsoyoucanoohandahhovermyexperience."
