HungryforYourLove

HungryforYourLove

Itiscold,sobittercold,onthisdark,winterdayin1942.ButitisnodifferentfromanyotherdayinthisNaziconcentrationcamp.Istandshiveringinmythinrags,stillindisbeliefthatthisnightmareishappening.Iamjustayoungboy.Ishouldbeplayingwithfriends;Ishouldbegoingtoschool;Ishouldbelookingforwardtoafuture,togrowingupandmarrying,andhavingafamilyofmyown.Butthosedreamsarefortheliving,andIamnolongeroneofthem.Instead,Iamalmostdead,survivingfromdaytoday,fromhourtohour,eversinceIwastakenfrommyhomeandbroughtherewithtensofthousandsotherJews.WillIstillbealivetomorrow?WillIbetakentothegaschambertonight?
BackandforthIwalknexttothebarbedwirefence,tryingtokeepmyemaciatedbodywarm.Iamhungry,butIhavebeenhungryforlongerthanIwanttoremember.Iamalwayshungry.Ediblefoodseemslikeadream.Eachdayasmoreofusdisappear,thehappypastseemslikeameredream,andIsinkdeeperanddeeperintodespair.Suddenly,Inoticeayounggirlwalkingpastontheothersideofthebarbedwire.Shestopsandlooksatmewithsadeyes,eyesthatseemtosaythatsheunderstands,thatshe,too,cannotfathomwhyIamhere.Iwanttolookaway,oddlyashamedforthisstrangertoseemelikethis,butIcannottearmyeyesfromhers.
Thenshereachesintoherpocket,andpullsoutaredapple.Abeautiful,shinyredapple.Oh,howlonghasitbeensinceIhaveseenone!Shelookscautiouslytotheleftandtotheright,andthenwithasmileoftriumph,quicklythrowstheappleoverthefence.Iruntopickitup,holdingitinmytrembling,frozenfingers.Inmyworldofdeath,thisappleisanexpressionoflife,oflove.Iglanceupintimetoseethegirldisappearingintothedistance.
Thenextday,Icannothelpmyself-Iamdrawnatthesametimetothatspotnearthefence.AmIcrazyforhopingshewillcomeagain?Ofcourse.Butinhere,Iclingtoanytinyscrapofhope.ShehasgivenmehopeandImustholdtightlytoit.Andagain,shecomes.Andagain,shebringsmeanapple,flingingitoverthefencewiththatsamesweetsmile.
ThistimeIcatchit,andholditupforhertosee.Hereyestwinkle.Doesshepityme?Perhaps.Idonotcare,though.Iamjustsohappytogazeather.Andforthefirsttimeinsolong,Ifeelmyheartmovewithemotion.Forsevenmonths,wemeetlikethis.Sometimesweexchangeafewwords.Sometimes,justanapple.Butsheisfeedingmorethanmybelly,thisangelfromheaven.Sheisfeedingmysoul.Andsomehow,IknowIamfeedinghersaswell.
Oneday,Ihearfrighteningnews:wearebeingshippedtoanothercamp.Thiscouldmeantheendforme.Anditdefinitelymeanstheendformeandmyfriend.
ThenextdaywhenIgreether,myheartisbreaking,andIcanbarelyspeakasIsaywhatmustbesaid:"Donotbringmeanappletomorrow,"Itellher."Iambeingsenttoanothercamp.Wewillneverseeeachotheragain."TurningbeforeIloseallcontrol,Irunawayfromthefence.Icannotbeartolookback.IfIdid,Iknowshewouldseemestandingthere,withtearsstreamingdownmyface.Monthspassandthenightmarecontinues.Butthememoryofthisgirlsustainsmethroughtheterror,thepain,thehopelessness.Overandoverinmymind,Iseeherface,herkindeyes,Ihearhergentlewords,Itastethoseapples.
Andthenoneday,justlikethat,thenightmareisover.Thewarhasended.Thoseofuswhoarestillalivearefreed.Ihavelosteverythingthatwasprecioustome,includingmyfamily.ButIstillhavethememoryofthisgirl,amemoryIcarryinmyheartandgivesmethewilltogoonasImovetoAmericatostartanewlife.
Yearspass.Itis1957.IamlivinginNewYorkCity.Afriendconvincesmetogoonablinddatewithaladyfriendofhis.Reluctantly,Iagree.Butsheisnice,thiswomannamedRoma.Andlikeme,sheisanimmigrant,sowehaveatleastthatincommon.
"Wherewereyouduringthewar?"Romaasksmegently,inthatdelicatewayimmigrantsaskoneanotherquestionsthoseyears.
"Iwasinaconcent

rationcampinGermany,"Ireply.
Romagetsafarawaylookinhereyes,asifsheisrememberingsomethingpainfulyetsweet.
"Whatisit?"Iask.
"Iamjustthinkingsomethingfrommypast,Herman,"Romaexplainsinavoicesuddenlyverysoft."Yousee,whenIwasayounggirl,Ilivednearaconcentrationcamp.Therewasaboythere,aprisoner,andforalongwhile,Iusedtovisithimeveryday.IrememberIusedtobringhimapples.Iwouldthrowtheappleoverthefence,andhewouldbesohappy."
Romasighsheavilyandcontinues."Itishardtodescribehowwefelteachother-afterall,wewereyoung,andweonlyexchangedafewwordswhenwecould-butIcantellyou,therewasmuchlovethere.Iassumehewaskilledlikesomanyothers.ButIcannotbeartothinkthat,andsoItrytorememberhimashewasforthosemonthsweweregiventogether."
WithmyheartpoundingsoloudlyIthinkitwil1explode,IlookdirectlyatRomaandask,"Anddidthatboysaytoyouoneday,'Donotbringmeanappletomorrow.Iambeingsenttoanothercamp'?"
"Why,yes,"Romaresponds,hervoicetrembling.
"But,Herman,howonearthcouldyoupossiblyknowthat?"
Itakeherhandsinmineandanswer,"BecauseIwasthatyoungboy,Roma."
Formanymoments,thereisonlysilence.Wecannottakeoureyesfromeachother,andastheveilsoftimelift,werecognizethesoulbehindtheeyes,thedearfriendweoncelovedsomuch,whomwehaveneverstoppedloving,whomwehaveneverstoppedremembering.
Finally,Ispeak:"Look,Roma,Iwassepara
tedfromyouonce,andIdon'teverwanttobeseparatedfromyouagain.Now,Iamfree,andIwanttobetogetherwithyouforever.Dear,willyoumarryme?"
IseethatsametwinkleinhereyethatIusedtoseeasRomasays,"Yes,Iwillmarryyou,"andweembrace,theembracewelongedtoshareforsomanymonths,butbarbedwirecamebetweenus.Now,nothingeverwillagain.
AlmostfortyyearshavepassedsincethatdaywhenIfoundmyRomaagain.Destinybroughtustogetherthefirsttimeduringthewartoshowmeapromiseofhopeandnowithadreunitedustofulfillthatpromise.
Valentine'sDay,1996.IbringRomatotheOprahWinfreyShowtohonorheronnationaltelevision.IwanttotellherinfrontofmillionsofpeoplewhatIfeelinmyhearteveryday:
"Darling,youfedmeintheconcentrationcampwhenIwashungry.AndIamstillhungry,forsomethingIwillnevergetenoughof:Iamonlyhungryforyourlove."